Magnet is running a contest to come up with pirate names for musicians and bands. Here’s my entry:

Ahoy Mateys of State
Bikini Keelhaul
Bikini Barnakill
L7 Seas
The Briny Deep Purple
Veruca Salty Dog
Tim Swashbuckley
Jeff Swashbuckley
10 seasea
VanDyke Parrrrks!
Ringo Starrrr!
Mazzy Starrrr!
The Carrrrrs!
Gwarrrrr!
Warrrrr!
Harry Parrrrtch!
Mouse on Marrrrs!
Johnny Marrrr!
John Darrrrrnielle
Long John Darnielle
Swab the Beck
Starboards of Canada
The Walktheplankabouts
Dead Can Dance the Hornpipe
Justin Shivermetimberlake
Three Grog Night
Jefferson Starrrrship
Jefferson Starship Ahoy
Rum Punchdrunk
Davy Jones’s Locker
Walk the Left Planke
Chuck Berry’d Treasure
John Vanderslice ‘Em to Ribbons
Grogstar
Creeper Lagoon
Airrrrr!
The Corrs-air
Ringo Starrrr!
Doubloons Narcotic
Dub Narrrrrcotic!
Vikki Carrrr!
Arvo Parrot
Arrrrrvo Parrrrt!
Sugarrrrr!
Sigarrrr Ros
Sugarrrr Ray
Hoobaplank
John Entwhistle a Sea Chantey
The Aye, Cap’n and Teneille
Shiver Me Tim Berne
Airparrot Five
Polly Wanna Cracker
Polly Wanna Uncle Kracker
Eyepatches & Herb
Cut-lass
Einst�rzende Neubauten Down the Hatches
Parroty Como
Walk The Plank Williams
The Yardarmbirds
The (Amputated) Shins
Yo-ho-ho La Tengo
The ScabByrds
The Ocean Bluebeard
The Salty Tarbox Ramblers
The Tarrrrrbox Ramblers
The Sea and Cake
Pegleggy Lee
Horn-Pipe
Lena Hornpipe
John Zornpipe
Cyndi Landlubber
The Fabulous Plunderbirds
The Plundermints
Little Stevie Plunder
The Plunder Stuff
Belle and Semizzenmastion
Hawkwindjammer
Vic Treasure Chesnutt
Charlie Treasure Chesterman
Big Blackbeard
Frank Blackbeard
Mary J. Bilge Rat
Poopdexy’s Midnight Runners
Bosun Ra
Pete Buccaneer
Scruffy the Cat o’ Nine Tails
The Grateful Dead Men Tell No Tales
Samantha Foc’sle
Paul Anchor (Anka)
Mott the Poopdeckle
Corey Me Hearties
Philip Spyglass
Sugarrrrr!
Sigarrrr Ros
Christine McScurVie
M.C. Windjammer
Floghat
Salty Dog-N-Pepa
El Debarrrrge

Let me know all the ones I missed.

Comments

1. From Carrrrrino on 04/22/04

   Shiver Me Tim Berne

   Oh, god, you are a genius.

2. From editrix on 04/22/04

   I wanna name that makes me sound like a pirate! Oh wait, my maiden name does. . . .

3. From les deux Fs on 04/23/04

   What I love is, in the middle of all these, “Creeper Lagoon” - the band’s actual name. Ha.

   –Jeffrey with one wooden F

4. From mikester on 04/27/04

   U arrr brilliant!
   I can only add 2, arght garfunkel, and the One-eyed Jackson 5.

5. From Terri on 12/19/04

   I am particularly fond of The Starboards of Canada.