Today I’m all antsy and out of sorts. I think it’s because I volunteered to help conduct usability tests of my employer’s Web site redesign at client offices tomorrow and Thursday. It will be interesting, but talking to clients always makes me jumpy. I think most of it is because I feel like such an impostor in the corporate world and don’t have the professional-looking clothes to fake it convincingly. My usual work uniform consists of a long black skirt plus a T-shirt-and-cardigan combo, with chunky black sandals in the summer and black tights avec stompy black shoes in the winter. On days when I feel obligated to dress up, I’ll wear a long black skirt and one of those stripey 3/4-length-sleeved semi-fitted shirts they sell at H&M for like $12 a pop. Let’s just say that Anna Wintour is not feeling threatened by my particular brand of flair. My only two suits date back from the mid-’90s when I last interviewed for a job and wouldn’t fit me even if they weren’t woefully dated.
I’m also trying to figure out if I’m getting sick (the woman who sold me my bagel this morning was audibly, ickily congested) or if it’s just low-level hay fever (ragweed is holding it’s annual late-summer blowout). My throat’s all scratchy and my eyes itch and I keep thinking that my sinuses would look raw and angry if I were to peep them with a little sinuscope. I just cleared my throat loudly — hrum-ha-ROOM, hum — and the other two very very quiet coworkers in my pod looked alarmed, like I was about to announce that I had a gun or something.
Otherwise, I’ve been amusing myself by thinking of names for the two editorial teams upstairs. Here’s what I have so far:
The Fighting Colons
Lolly Lolly Lolly Get Your Adverbs Here
GLOE: The Glorious Ladies of Editing
Editors Gone Wild
The Island of Misplaced Modifiers (for all those who really wanted to be a dentist)
The Dangling Participles
Editor with Wound
The Hyphens
StetSons
Query for the Straight Guy
Query for the Straight Guy
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
I fear you are, in fact, getting sick. How else to account for your missing that obvious typo above?