Today’s leftover lunch sort of describes my worldview lately, and I’m having a tough time figuring out why — despite delightful lifts hanging out with Janet while she was in town, or having dinner with the stars of the T&E Show, or random time spent with my boy — I feel so lousy for the most part. A good chunk has to do with work, which enough said about that. A not-insignifcant factor might be whatever Bizarro World Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder seems to plague me every year when the days get lighter and the clime heats up. I feel utterly depleted. And last night’s knitting disaster? Straw, meet camel’s back.
So, remember that large and pricey yarn purchase I made a couple of weeks ago? I’d made some progress on the back of Pinup Queen (that sounds way naughtier than it is), having knitted a good six inches by yesterday afternoon. Doug and I settled in to watch Jean Cocteau’s Beauty and the Beast, and I started the second skein of Lush during the movie. By the closing credits, I’d added another couple of inches, but when I looked at my work, it was obvious even in the dimming late-afternoon light that the colors did. not. match. The first skein (which I’d used for my gauge swatch then continued using to cast on, dumb, dumb, dumb) was noticeably lighter than the second, and it looked awful. I took several deep breaths while Doug gave me a hug, then ran through my options: Frog the whole thing and start with yarn that clearly was from the same dye lot in the hopes that I had enough to finish the sweater? Frog back to where I started Skein No. 2, and if I wound up running out of matching yarn, using the first skein on the front section of the sweater which is knit in a different stitch pattern anyway? Give up on Pinup Queen until I’d bought completely different yarn for it (not from Woolcott, you can bet your ass), using the Lush for a smaller project? Set fire to my yarn stash and needles and take up, I don’t know, paint-by-numbers?
All attempts to distract myself from a costly and painful mistake failed when, 15 minutes later, I went from laughter to batshit-crazy sobbing. Lucky for me, Doug did not act like previous men in my life by calling me a psycho, backing out of the room and going on a 4-hour walk, or asking me what was wrong NOWWWW, so I was able to calm down pretty quickly. He offered to go out and get Mexican food for dinner (hence my leftovers) and we watched Mad Hot Ballroom and I felt much better.
I’ll probably scrap the making-myself-a-sweater idea for the nonce and cast on for something totally frivolous like another Jess Hutchinson softie. And maybe I can convert my usual springtime dread and death memories into something constructive — like figuring out what I want to grow this summer. And short-term — it might be time to watch Showgirls again.
Janet says:
March 28th, 2006 at 11:35 am ESTVisit Janet
Aw sweetie, I’m sorry it’s been yuck. I’m glad I was part of the good parts, anyway (walking the suitcase and all…). If I were having the change-of-season blues, I’d be touchy enough that this would set me off, but I’ll still risk mentioning that you need to fix the link to your Lush-ious entry above (it has a stray quotation mark on the end). Also, I wish I could infuse you with my stereotypical natural happy-response to spring. Because it does feel good. But Showgirls and garden planning ought to be effective.
LLA says:
March 28th, 2006 at 2:39 pm ESTVisit LLA
Oh. That sucks.
I wish I had something wise, inspirational and/or witty to insert here. But sometimes the only apt sentiment is a quick simple “that sucks”.
I say back away from the PinUp girl for now. You can always revisit later.
And you know that a Jess Hutch goodie will make you feel better…. (you know you want to!
I’m such an enabler. Hello, my name is LLA and I’m a JessHutch addict…)
Hope it gets better soon….
Paula says:
March 28th, 2006 at 3:16 pm ESTVisit Paula
Spring makes me crazy, too. (Crazier, I should say). I feel like sobbing half the time. I think it’s because the ol’ heart is thawing out along with the weather, and you feel like you SHOULD be happy all the time and then when you’re not–”Oh, there’s something wrong with me.”
Ezra says:
March 28th, 2006 at 7:04 pm ESTVisit Ezra
I have to admit, I’m mostly on the “spring makes me happy” side, but you probably understand by now, I am sort of a sucker, and every year I think it’s going to be better this go round. I’m like Charlie Brown, helpless to run at spring’s leafy green football, even though I know, come November, I’m going to be on my back, staring up at the squiggly doodle above my head, saying “well, there went another one that’s not coming back.”
This past November wasn’t so bad, but usually, November usually makes me want to cash my chips in while I’m ahead so I don’t have to face another winter.
Terri says:
March 28th, 2006 at 11:53 pm ESTVisit Terri
Aw, I hope you don’t give up sweater knitting for good, though I know you must feel like never looking at that thing again. I agree that Woolcott should have checked to see if you had skeins from the same dyelot before ringing up your purchase. While technically it might not be their responsibility, I believe those who have served me at various yarn shops (including Woolcott in the past) have always checked, just to be sure. It’s just good business on their part. If you’re ready to switch yarn shops (I go back and forth, myself), I’ve had pretty decent luck at A Good Yarn in Brookline, though I wish I hadn’t gone with the salesperson’s suggested yarn on one project. It wasn’t bad yarn for the pattern, it just wasn’t what I wanted.
Ezra says:
March 29th, 2006 at 9:56 am ESTVisit Ezra
Maybe a good test of Woolcott would be to try to exchange them. If they don’t, they’re just jerks, because I can’t imagine why, if they have more of the right dye lot, or if they can order more of the right dye lot, they would have anything to lose by exchanging them for you. And you certainly don’t have anything to lose by trying, I think.
Of course, IAKAK, so there might be something here I don’t understand.
Editrix says:
March 29th, 2006 at 10:47 am ESTVisit Editrix
Maybe . . . when I bought the skeins, they were 11 of the last 12 in that color. And I’m not sure if I still have the receipt. I know, dumb.