A half-dozen anomalies

I’ve slackassed Terri’s meme up until now, so by now everyone I know has already been tagged. But here’s my quote-unquote contribution. I hope it’s not cheating that two of them are NPR-related.

  1. Whenever I hear business correspondent Jack Speer’s name mentioned, I automatically think, “Jack Speer, kick in the rear.”
  2. And every time I hear the “Morning Edition” anchor mention Capitol Hill reporter Brian Naylor’s name, I can’t prevent the voice in my head from exhorting, “Nail her, Brian, nail her!”
  3. I prefer to sleep with a fan on, even in the winter.
  4. For something like a decade, when I shaved under my arms each morning, I imagined the razor slipping and slicing open my eyeball.
  5. In sixth grade, my best friend and I built an Amityville Horror Dollhouse diorama, complete with little plastic flies on the walls.
  6. I’ve been hit on by clowns not once, but twice in my life. The first was an attempted pick-up at the Garment District, thwarted by my favorite Villain. The second was far creepier: a drunk clown with peeling face paint and foul breath accosted me at The Middle East while I was waiting in line for the restroom during the Central Square World’s Fair. He told me he had a daughter about my age, then asked if I’d like to have a drink with him at his place.


6 Responses to “A half-dozen anomalies”

  1. Terri says:


    Visit Terri

    Scary!!! Next time I’m with you and I see a clown I’m going to throw myself between you and said clown!!

    NPR related: I always call it the Nipper.

  2. Janet says:


    Visit Janet

    Maybe it’s weird or maybe it’s just TMI or both, but I will fess to never having even considered shaving my underarms daily. And a good thing too, I guess - eyeball slicing is really, really gross and I don’t need to be contemplating it in the morning.

  3. Ezra says:


    Visit Ezra

    Eyeball slicing: too much Un Chien Andalou for you.

  4. Editrix says:


    Visit Editrix

    I’m sure that seeing that Buñuel in a film-studies class in college probably had more of a lasting impact than I’d care to admit. I certainly never aspired to growing up to be a debaser, but I’m also strangely subject to some oddball brain-mandated thoughts that have punctuated my life, however much they vex me.

    I considered mentioning the first conscious thought that accompanied my alarm-clock-prompted awakening for at least a couple of years, back when I lived in Princeton: “Welcome to the rat race.” If I’d been more clever, I might have thought “What fresh hell is this?” when I heard the alarm blare, but a grudging, cynical acceptance of my unhappy life followed by unwelcome fantasies of eyeball slashage were the order of the day.

  5. 2fs says:


    Visit 2fs

    So what kind of guy thinks “I have a daughter about your age” is an effective pickup line? Ah - wait, you’ve already answered that.

  6. Paula says:


    Visit Paula

    This post has done nothing to alleviate my dislike of clowns.


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