Comments on: Memorial Night http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/05/memorial-night/ Tue, 7 Feb 2012 16:52:58 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.1 by: Flasshe http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/05/memorial-night/#comment-8664 Sat, 02 Jun 2007 05:31:14 +0000 http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/05/memorial-night/#comment-8664 Trixie, I'm very sorry to hear about your mom's problems and I hope it's nothing serious. We've all been through too much lately, haven't we? You know I know what you're going through, and I'm sending good thoughts your way. I loved this post despite the darkness. Too bad real life imposes on Internet life, but hey, that's what makes it all interesting. Trixie, I’m very sorry to hear about your mom’s problems and I hope it’s nothing serious. We’ve all been through too much lately, haven’t we? You know I know what you’re going through, and I’m sending good thoughts your way. I loved this post despite the darkness. Too bad real life imposes on Internet life, but hey, that’s what makes it all interesting.

]]> by: Paula http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/05/memorial-night/#comment-8642 Wed, 30 May 2007 15:23:16 +0000 http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/05/memorial-night/#comment-8642 <i>“The pain now is part of the happiness then.” It is because you love and are loved that you feel these things, and it is a blessing more than a curse.</i>Very well put, yes! “The pain now is part of the happiness then.” It is because you love and are loved that you feel these things, and it is a blessing more than a curse.Very well put, yes!

]]> by: Terri http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/05/memorial-night/#comment-8639 Wed, 30 May 2007 15:10:47 +0000 http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/05/memorial-night/#comment-8639 Agreed, Ezra, and I meant to say that, too. I hope that you can come to peace with what's happened, Trixie, but I also know that some bit of hurt might never go away, and there's nothing wrong with that (except, of course, that it hurts). I picked up a quote from the movie Shadowlands (it might originally be from a book, not sure), but I think it applies here: "The pain now is part of the happiness then." It is because you love and are loved that you feel these things, and it is a blessing more than a curse. Agreed, Ezra, and I meant to say that, too. I hope that you can come to peace with what’s happened, Trixie, but I also know that some bit of hurt might never go away, and there’s nothing wrong with that (except, of course, that it hurts). I picked up a quote from the movie Shadowlands (it might originally be from a book, not sure), but I think it applies here: “The pain now is part of the happiness then.” It is because you love and are loved that you feel these things, and it is a blessing more than a curse.

]]> by: Ezra http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/05/memorial-night/#comment-8635 Wed, 30 May 2007 00:03:50 +0000 http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/05/memorial-night/#comment-8635 I don't think you need to feel like there's a timeline for you to "deal with" anything either. I know I don't have a lot of firsthand experience with this kind of thing, but my cousins, whom I feel pretty close to, lost their dad last March, and I think the first anniversary of everything for the first year was pretty rough. Even now, when I think about how the youngest of them looked at Thanksgiving is making me well up. Jewish tradition has an "unveiling" ceremony one year after the funeral, and I think that makes a lot of sense. There is something similar in Indian tradition that I know some of my Indian co-workers have gone back home for a year after a parent's death. Anyway, I think that modern American culture really affords too little time for people to deal with these things, and that it's just not so weird for you to feel like you feel. And count me in the full-time, card-carrying Editrix Supporter camp, too. I don’t think you need to feel like there’s a timeline for you to “deal with” anything either. I know I don’t have a lot of firsthand experience with this kind of thing, but my cousins, whom I feel pretty close to, lost their dad last March, and I think the first anniversary of everything for the first year was pretty rough. Even now, when I think about how the youngest of them looked at Thanksgiving is making me well up. Jewish tradition has an “unveiling” ceremony one year after the funeral, and I think that makes a lot of sense. There is something similar in Indian tradition that I know some of my Indian co-workers have gone back home for a year after a parent’s death.

Anyway, I think that modern American culture really affords too little time for people to deal with these things, and that it’s just not so weird for you to feel like you feel.

And count me in the full-time, card-carrying Editrix Supporter camp, too.

]]> by: LLA http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/05/memorial-night/#comment-8632 Tue, 29 May 2007 16:29:43 +0000 http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/05/memorial-night/#comment-8632 I'd like to echo what Terri said directly above. Because she just said exactly what I wanted to say, but she managed to articulate it at least a gazillion times better than I could ever have hoped to... huge. big. hug. I’d like to echo what Terri said directly above. Because she just said exactly what I wanted to say, but she managed to articulate it at least a gazillion times better than I could ever have hoped to…

huge. big. hug.

]]> by: Terri http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/05/memorial-night/#comment-8630 Tue, 29 May 2007 14:50:09 +0000 http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/05/memorial-night/#comment-8630 There's nothing uninteresting about this. On the contrary, once again, your blog has unique depth. Your courage is really something. Cherish the fact that you have these memories. You are fortunate to have been so close to your dad. Worrying about our loved ones is natural. I worry about my family all the time--even when the only reason I have to worry is knowing what a mess I will be if and when I ever lose any of them. It just means that we love them, and that is a very very good thing. Facing my family's medical history reminds me of how much I need to take care of myself. There are people in this world who cherish you and will be lost if you should make an untimely exit. Keep taking care of yourself. We need you!! Hugs, T There’s nothing uninteresting about this. On the contrary, once again, your blog has unique depth. Your courage is really something.

Cherish the fact that you have these memories. You are fortunate to have been so close to your dad.

Worrying about our loved ones is natural. I worry about my family all the time–even when the only reason I have to worry is knowing what a mess I will be if and when I ever lose any of them. It just means that we love them, and that is a very very good thing.

Facing my family’s medical history reminds me of how much I need to take care of myself. There are people in this world who cherish you and will be lost if you should make an untimely exit. Keep taking care of yourself. We need you!!

Hugs,
T

]]> by: Heather http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/05/memorial-night/#comment-8618 Mon, 28 May 2007 12:45:59 +0000 http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/05/memorial-night/#comment-8618 What a poignant post--thank you. I don't think that as adult children we ever get over that feeling of being shattered by the (gradual) loss of our parents. I suppose that part of growing up is learning how to be in the world without our parents. What a poignant post–thank you.

I don’t think that as adult children we ever get over that feeling of being shattered by the (gradual) loss of our parents. I suppose that part of growing up is learning how to be in the world without our parents.

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