Comments on: Darkness visible http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/06/darkness-visible/ Tue, 22 May 2012 14:06:57 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.1 by: Ezra http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/06/darkness-visible/#comment-8982 Fri, 15 Jun 2007 13:48:58 +0000 http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/06/darkness-visible/#comment-8982 The vast majority of wakes that I've been to have been to have been unstructured things in the evening, where people sort of mill around and you offer condolences to the family. There's more time to actually talk to people and offer whatever comfort you can. Funerals are more for *you*, if you have a more direct connection the the person, to achieve a little closure. I've always thought that wakes were scheduled at night specifically so that people who might not be close enough to the family to take time off to go to the funeral still have an opportunity to pay their respects. I think it's totally legit to go to one and not the other, too. It's not analogous to, say, skipping a long by-the-book wedding ceremony and just going to the reception. The vast majority of wakes that I’ve been to have been to have been unstructured things in the evening, where people sort of mill around and you offer condolences to the family. There’s more time to actually talk to people and offer whatever comfort you can. Funerals are more for *you*, if you have a more direct connection the the person, to achieve a little closure. I’ve always thought that wakes were scheduled at night specifically so that people who might not be close enough to the family to take time off to go to the funeral still have an opportunity to pay their respects. I think it’s totally legit to go to one and not the other, too.

It’s not analogous to, say, skipping a long by-the-book wedding ceremony and just going to the reception.

]]> by: Heather http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/06/darkness-visible/#comment-8968 Fri, 15 Jun 2007 11:19:01 +0000 http://www.patheticfallacy.org/2007/06/darkness-visible/#comment-8968 What a lovely post. I agree that comforting words, while hard to muster at times, are so meaningful to the suffering. Ignorant Quaker? Such an oxymoron!! What a lovely post. I agree that comforting words, while hard to muster at times, are so meaningful to the suffering.

Ignorant Quaker? Such an oxymoron!!

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