Please check your basket. Scan additional items now, or press OK to pay.

I was trying to decide which brand of zip-top bag was cheapest, when a woman’s voice came up behind me saying, “I am sick and TIRED of your SHIT, lady.” I wondered what I’d done wrong. She put her hand on my shoulder, which made me more nervous. “Oh, not you, sorry. It’s that damn checkout machine. I studied Buddhism, and that thing still makes me swear.”



5 Responses to “Please check your basket. Scan additional items now, or press OK to pay.”

  1. Heather says:


    Visit Heather

    The down side of ‘be here, now’, right?? Too hilarious!

  2. Christy says:


    Visit Christy

    Albertson’s? :D

    Those things are always just a little *too* helpful.

  3. Editrix says:


    Visit Editrix

    Close — it was Shaw’s, which is owned by Albertson’s (or vice versa).

  4. Christy says:


    Visit Christy

    Same machines, different names. ;)

    We have an ATM near us that says “ThAYnk you for bAYnking with us.” It’s got the weirdest accent.

  5. 2fs says:


    Visit 2fs

    I hate self-checkout machines. If they’re going to save money by not hiring humans to do work, at least the savings should be passed on to us. I’ll use those lines when we get a 5% discount.

    And I despise talking ATMs. I’m perfectly comfortable with the fact that I’m interacting with a machine; I don’t need to be reassured by a “voice” - especially one that uses first person. Or speaks in a (terrifyingly awful) British accent, as one machine near where I work does.

  6. Terri says:


    Visit Terri

    Ha! That’s really funny! We were there today. We forgot one item, so Ez ran back to get it and went through the self-service checkout to pay for it. Well, the first machine he tried wouldn’t work. I have had so much trouble with them–I’m always having to wait for assistance. I get the feeling some of the people who work at Shaw’s hate them as much as we do.

  7. Paula says:


    Visit Paula

    The USPS self-service machines are great, though! No lines, no talking to a grumpy walking time bomb and inadvertantly setting them off, and I love self-adhesive postage…

  8. Editrix says:


    Visit Editrix

    I’m with you, Paula. My only complaint is that they don’t do Media Mail.


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