During the intermission, I ran into a friend in the restroom. I was asking if she and her boyfriend were looking forward to their trip to Maine with the gang next week, and she replied, “Well, see, we kind of broke up.” I felt like I’d been socked in the stomach.
It’s sad because she […]

To all you nice people who’ve left comments in the past week or so:
I am very sorry for the sluglike approval of said comments. Some unresolved email issue foisted on us by our upstream provider meant that I wasn’t getting emailed when comments got stuck en file d’attente, and I’m too big a doofus to […]

Recent conversation between two officemates:
Thing 1: “It kind of pisses me off that the gays co-opted the rainbow.”
Thing 2: “We’re on a roll, Thing 1 — yesterday we were talking about dog penises, today we’re talking about gay rainbows.”
Thing 1: “I don’t have a problem with rainbows. I just wish that the gays hadn’t changed […]

While I wouldn’t call my parents morbid individuals, they seem to enjoy reminding me regularly about their mortality — and have since I was a kid. Back then, they wanted my brother and me to know they had modified their will such that should both of them be killed, our Aunt Diann and Uncle Jerry […]